WEEK 3: (1) Individual and Community well-being

Initial thoughts...

1. What ELSE do you consider essential for individual and collective well-being? What skills are needed to make this happen?

We need to understand that as social beings, we need people and people need us. We are part of a system that works because we exist. So, if I, as part of my community, find a way to grow, to be a better human being, to progress, I can then affect my community in a positive way.

Tolerance, patience, understanding, being able to focus, are some of the skills I consider you need to make this happen.  

2. What ideas from our group discussions would you like to remember to think about?

Courage as a result of being vulnerable. Listen to actually pay attention.

Two of the other permissions I remember my team sharing that day were “Listen with passion” and “Ask for breaks if we need them.”

"This type of binary thinking is very dangerous because we’re not leveraging the fullness of people. The roles become caricatures and stereotypes: Juan is such an optimist with his sales projections, but it’s all right because Kari will come in hard with worst-case-scenario numbers and kill those fantasies. We should all be held accountable for being both optimistic and realistic."

Brown, Brené. Dare to Lead (p. 69). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. 

When he interviewed Stockdale, Collins asked him, “Who didn’t make it out?” Stockdale replied, “Oh, that’s easy. The optimists.”... “They died of a broken heart.”

Brown, Brené. Dare to Lead (p. 68). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.

We set the boundaries: I know this is a tough conversation. Being angry is okay. Yelling is not okay.

"Just remember, we can’t do our jobs when we own other people’s emotions or take responsibility for them as a way to control the related behaviors, for one simple reason: Other people’s emotions are not our jobs. We can’t both serve people and try to control their feelings."

Brown, Brené. Dare to Lead (p. 57). Random House Publishing Group. Kindle Edition. 

3. What would you like to remember from the Group meeting? Golden nuggets?

Can you show empathy for others when you do not show it to yourself?

The sense of belonging and not being alone.

We should all be held accountable for being both optimistic and realistic.

When he interviewed Stockdale, Collins asked him, “Who didn’t make it out?” Stockdale replied, “Oh, that’s easy. The optimists.”... “They died of a broken heart.” 

we set the boundaries: 
I know this is a tough conversation. Being angry is okay. Yelling is not okay.

Just remember, we can’t do our jobs when we own other people’s emotions or take responsibility for them as a way to control the related behaviors, for one simple reason: Other people’s emotions are not our jobs. We can’t both serve people and try to control their feelings.

Empathy work

• What did you learn about empathy?

I need to be there for the other person, not just say it but actually care to learn what is inside that person’s head to be able to help.

• What resources or sources were most useful to you in your learning about empathy this week? Why?

I think the discussion with my fellow group members since we had the chance to share experiences and views in which we can be more aware of details, feelings, emotions, thoughts.

• What 2-3  ideas about empathy had the most impact on you? Why?

Actually I loved the discussion we had about the possibility to show empathy for others if you are not empathetic for yourself first.  We presented different views and they all made us think that we know people who are depressed, for example, with no empathy whatsovere for them but who always feel for others, and some times are also there for them. How possible is that? But also, somebody commented that it may be possible but taking action and being compassionate may not be possible for those who are not empathetic for themselves. I am still thinking about it and trying to find the answer to this crossroads. 

 

Mindfulness

• What did you learn about mindfulness? 

I learned that I need to find the time to sit down and disconnect to reconnect. We waste time doing things we do not need and at the end of the day we see we don’t have time. It happens to me most of the time. I sometimes practice it by turning all devices off and sitting down with my guitar together with my kids and enjoy singing a song together. I feel good -but still cannot completely stop thinking about what I still have pending to do.

 

Listening to  Students

• What questions did you ask students?

I asked them what they feel about vulnerability, I asked them if they saw it as weakness, as a disadvantage, as positive.

 

• What did you learn by talking with them?

I learned that even though both of them saw it as being weak, because of the voluntary work they do, they have realized that the fact that it reveals our fears and weaknesses it is basically what makes us appreciate our humanity so we can be aware of how fragile we are and understand how we can react and take action to overcome the disadvantage and turn it into a positive thing.

• What impact did the conversations have on you? 

I was really glad to see this young former students of mine were growing up and had a very clear idea of their limitations but they were working on improving and becoming better people.

 

Leadership

• Who is a leader that you admire OR one that you don't.

My grandmother was a leader, she was fair, had good judgment and always said what she had to say to make you a better person.

• What values, practices, ideas and/or questions about leadership are hot on your mind or in your heart right now? Why?

I think I need to understand myself better, I think I need to learn to find my priorities in life and also need to learn to face the truth and make a first move to leave the place where I am now and be one step ahead, not reaching my destination maybe but at least not where I was any more.